A year of saying no
An audit of what I declined, what it cost me, and what it bought back.
I declined more things in the last twelve months than in the previous five years combined. I have been counting, badly, in a notebook. The count is somewhere over a hundred.
What I declined#
Three podcast invitations. A short consulting engagement that paid well. A "quick coffee" with someone I respect. A panel. Two advisory roles. An investor I almost worked with. Speaking at a conference where I would have known half the room.
Each of these was, in isolation, a good thing. Together, they were another job, in disguise.
What it cost me#
Some genuine friendships moved more slowly than they would have. A couple of doors I might have walked through stayed closed. A few people who had been generous with me probably felt I was not generous back.
This is the honest part. The cost was not zero.
What it bought#
A product that shipped. Two sustained creative projects outside the product. Enough sleep that I do not remember the last time I dreamed about work. The ability to read a book on a Saturday without checking the phone first.
What I learned#
A year of saying no is not a year of being closed off. It is a year of defending one thing well enough that the thing can repay it. The thing has repaid it. I am going to start saying yes again, carefully.